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Joke of the Day
"I bought a new lock for my bedroom door Wound up getting half off when it didn't work."
Next Joke
"Sometimes, late at night, I stare out the window at the stars and think about all the airlines that have wronged me..."
"When a woman says, ""I'm NOT crazy"" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That's universal for, ""You're going to die."""
"Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake... and standing outside your door... and playing the harmonica."
"So I got home late last night, and my wife says, ""Would you like some supper?"" I say, ""Oh, yes! What are the choices?"" ""Yes, or no."""
"*Sees son doing homework* What u doing? ""Math, it's due Friday"" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u"
"I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version.. It blows itself up.."
"When the dryer buzzer scares you so bad you have to do another load of laundry."
"Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light."
"How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.."