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Joke of the Day

"What's musical and useful at the grocery store? A Chopin Liszt Note: taken from one of those horrible ""Joke of the Day"" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever."

"A fair deal A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!"

"What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common? A wet nose."

"Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it."

"I never get the silent treatment when I really want it."

"So a guy walks into a punchline... The punchline-tender says, ""Why the dumb joke?"""

"Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars? If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read?"

"How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch? One of his fingers is clean"

"Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year"