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Joke of the Day

"All I want for Christmas is my own perfume commercial where I say random words like 'hope' and 'passion' & look like a date rape victim."

"[mean joke to girls from guys] I really hope you get the hottest boyfriend So I have a chance on hot girls"

"Just found this hillarious joke I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"(nsfw) What do pimples and catholic priests have in common? They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13."

"What do you call a dizzy asian? Disorientaled."

"I've been thinking about you...Owl night long."

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a lobster with tits? One's a crusty bus station; the other is a busty crustacean."

"If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you I'd start thinking about you."

"Whats the difference between catholic priests and acne? One doesn't come on your face until your at least 13"

"""Bob's here"" Bob the surgeon or Bob who just pretends he's a surgeon? ""We only know one Bob and he's an accountant"" *arm falls off*"