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Joke of the Day

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!"

"Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail? Because he was in-a-cent!"

"dry skin? flaky scalp? discoloration? scaling? tongue bifurcating all by itself? hissing? legs fusing together? recently evicted a gypsy?"

"Teacher: Fred I'm glad to see your writing has improved. Pupil: Thank you Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though !"

"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."

"The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart.. ..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla."

"What About Having Viagra Jelly Dessert? http://rx-drugsmart.co/product/Viagra+Jelly.html"

"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."

"A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes."