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Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Flat out racism."

"""Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory."" - NBA players to their interior designers"

"ESPIONAGE: teen dresses up as a dad for a PTA meeting ""i think drugs are cool and we should back off"" *snapback falls out of pocket* *gasps*"

"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""

"Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot."

"I gave my keys to the Taco Bell valet when I showed up and now he's nowhere to be seen."

"I won't visit /r/aww Its nothing but kitty porn"

"Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!"

"Look Mr. Tech Support Dude, you asked if I had any more questions. Sorry if ""What are you wearing?"" wasn't what you had in mind."

"Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage? He had cold feet."