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Joke of the Day

"I didn't know too many Jewish people growing up. I realize now that where I'm from they are in the menorah-ty"

"Old Man and his Babies"

"I think it's time I remind you all that spoons are just tiny bowls with very long handles."

"What do you call a stoned pig? Baked Ham"

"Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away? 1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children."

"[cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*"

"What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape? What are your Hemsworth?"

"Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle"

"Where do we keep our thoughts detained? In brain cells!"

"I want a house I can drive my car in You could drive from vroom to vroom."