44041

Joke of the Day

"I didn't know too many Jewish people growing up. I realize now that where I'm from they are in the menorah-ty"

"The meat served in IKEA's restaurant is made of people who couldn't find the way out."

"Chuck Norris went down to the crossroads just to pimp-slap the devil."

"I am an actual real house cat. After I take a bong-hit I SWEAR I can type in English for about 60 secmeow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow"

"I think three movies is a bit much for the hobbit. Seems like they're really dragon it out."

"A man has been jailed for forging banknotes. He also got a big fine which he immediately paid in crisp $9 notes."

"A programmer goes to do groceries. His wife tell him: -- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen. He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread. -- But why?, she asks. -- They had eggs."

"I was in a band called Obese Bastards. What can I say. We went through a stage."

"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""

"What do you call a frozen terrorist? A isilcle"