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Joke of the Day

"I am not fat I'm just making a very successful recovery from anorexia."

"The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have."

"As a Marxist I could never play CoD, because I refuse to create a class."

"Ladies: Stop looking for a man to sweep you off your feet.....Sweeping is your job."

"Hey Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the sperm bank? He was caught drinking on the job."

"Cocaine I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom."

"What type of pussy does a priest get? nun"

"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."

"Meant to tell my daughter ""Good night, I love you,"" but it came out as ""Thank god you go back to school on Tuesday because this is bullshit"""

"What hand do you wipe with? Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper?"