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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why there's no sound when Django has sex? Because the D is silent."

"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"

"I started dating a psychiatrist. Now I'm afraid of commitment."

"What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?"

"How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb? Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself."

"Q: How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary? A: With a warlock."

"My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16"

"Why do white people shop from black people's yard sales? To get their stuff back."

"How do you jump out of a fifteen-floors building without getting hurt? You jump from the 1st one."

"Does the Easter Bunny like baseball? Oh yes. He's a rabbit fan!"