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Joke of the Day
"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee."
Next Joke
"Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say ""Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."""
"This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be."
"""Ma'am, are you aware that you were going 92 in a 55? I'm gonna need you to step out of the car."" ""Um, I have a boyfriend."""
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very tiny"
"I heard a glass of red wine a day was good for prostate health... My doctor, on the other hand, says I'm doing it wrong."
"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."
"I ran without my headphones today & was reminded that I feel better about my fitness when my soundtrack isn't my panicked gasping breathing."
"Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!"
"Had to go and find a stepladder yesterday. I never knew my real ladder."