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Joke of the Day

"Had to go and find a stepladder yesterday. I never knew my real ladder."

"What does it mean when a girl likes a 12 inch dick? She has a foot fetish. :D"

"I'm really obsessed with Harry Potter. On a scale of 1-10, how obsessed do you think I am? 9 3/4"

"I just lost my left arm and left leg in an accident. I'm all right now."

"I was born Mary Patterson... but then I married and, naturally, I took my husbands name. So now I'm Neil Patterson. From ""A Bit of Fry and Laurie"""

"You can't trust anyone you meet online I went on a date with a guy I met online last week and stole $250 from him"

"Gay men are fucking assholes"

"What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow? Abandonment."

"Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%."

"The lifeguard caught me peeing in the pool, today. He shouted so loud I nearly fell in."