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Joke of the Day

"An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern Baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote"

"If a parsley farmer is sued... can they garnish his wages?"

"What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran"

"Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying ""It's not you, It's Wii""."

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"How do you know Putin's doing well this election? He's taking over the Poles."

"If you've ever written an uppercase ""L"", you've drawn 1/4 of a swastika. Way to go, racist!"

"How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, no light bulb dare go out in the presence of Chuck Norris."

"whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway"

"You know what? Chicken Butt!"