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Joke of the Day

"My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement"

"A granny comes to see a doctor - and the doctor is a granny too."

"My girlfriend is a porn star.. she is going to be *so* pissed when she finds out."

"If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room."

"My mother was feeling cold so now I'm wearing a sweater."

"My hand is stuck in a jar of salsa right now. I'm just gonna leave it in there. This is who I am now. I'm tired of fighting."

"How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident? As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^"

"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."

"There's nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can't cure."

"A priest, blonde, jew, black guy, chinese guy, and a gay guy walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""