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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to do unto others as I would have done to me, but they're all ""stop thrusting at me, this is a church service; please sit down"""

"What does a Spanish dog say at the marina? Bark-o."

"I went for my physical yesterday. Nurse came in the room and she said ""I'm going to have to ask you to stop masturbating"" I was like ""What? Why!?"" She said ""because I'm trying to do your physical!"""

"There was an explosion at my favorite restaurant last night. News reports say that someone ordered the ""chicken a la Hu-akbar."""

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? Penne (Pen-nay)"

"My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta"

"""If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?"" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now."

"There once was a man named Dave Dave dug up a chick from the grave. She looked kinda gritty... Was missing a titty... But think of the money he saved!"

"A man was found dead with his penis in a jar of crunchy peanut butter He was fucking nuts"

"Why did little Johnny fall off the swing? ...he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike? Someone threw a fridge at her."