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Joke of the Day

"3 guys walk into a bar Three guys walk into a bar. The forth guy ducks."

"If you're feeling lonely, dim the lights and watch a good horror movie. By the end of it, you won't feel like you're alone anymore."

"A jewish girl asks her dad for $50... ""$40? What on earth do you need $30 for?"""

"Watching ""Wizard of Oz"". I'd forgotten how the neighbor wants to kill Toto and Auntie Em and Uncle Henry were fine with it. Family fun!"

"No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers."

"Turtle 911: Whats ur emergency? Turtle: MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DISAPPEARED! 911: Have u tried looking in her house? Turtle: oops never mind."

"Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say the morgue the merrier."

"Reddit is so dark right now..... That it went to night school and got counted absent."

"Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even."

"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""