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Joke of the Day

"A jewish girl asks her dad for $50... ""$40? What on earth do you need $30 for?"""

"Doc: Maam, due to the accident your daughter cant... Mom: Cant what?! D: She cant even. She literally cannot even. M: *single tear falls*"

"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"

"I've got a great joke about solipsism... But why should I tell you?"

"Wait, so if I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior I get to spend all of eternity with people like Mike Huckabee? Lol. Hard pass."

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."

"My fire alarm keeps going off. I think it's because my girlfriend keeps coming in. She is smoking hot."

"Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises? It drives me nuts."

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."

"What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature? Tequila Mockingbird!"