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Joke of the Day

"When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress."

"What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common? Both will never get a college degree."

"What kind of a cake requires goggles to eat? Bukkake"

"What's smarter than a dog, but dumber than a cat? Their owner."

"I wish my work would pay me to tweet all weekend like they do all week."

"The worst racist joke I can think of. A black man and a parrot walk into a bar The Bartender says ""Wow what a beautiful bird where did you get it?"" The parrot reply's ""Africa"""

"DATING TIP: OFFER THEM WATER. PUT 2 STRAWS IN. ROMANTIC WATER."

"Roses are red violets are take your clothes off"

"""Chivalry isn't dead,"" I say, watching one zombie hold the door open for another."

"I just got fired from my job at the fruit market. I was driving people bananas."