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Joke of the Day

"What do UP! and push-up have in common? First you have a great time, but after 5 minutes you end up crying."

"How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !"

"How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction."

"Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up."

"Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon? They only come in quarts(z)"

"I think it's so brave that Rosie O' Donnell is openly fat"

"Theres a new STD for birds.. It's called Chirpes. And the worst part? Its untweetable."

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! AM I BEING DETAINED?"

"You catch a giraffe with giraffe bait. You catch an elephant with elephant bait. How do you catch a click? Clickbait"

"What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader? I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A FSHHH"