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Joke of the Day

"Why did a surgeon go to prison? His medical license was doctored."

"Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am."

"Cute waiter: Hi, what can I get for you? Me: *accidentally barks*"

"A french gymnast is getting ready to perform... His coach walks up and says, ""Break a leg!"""

"I went out for a pelican curry last night.... It was really nice, but the bill was enormous!"

"Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes."

"I only date Patriots fans Because they don't care if I cheat"

"I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!"

"A Martini is like a woman's breast... One is not enough, and three is too many."

"Some morbid baby jokes What's scarier then ten babies in one jar? A: One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container? A: blend it."