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Joke of the Day

"I asked my mate what he wanted for dinner He said he fancies a Chinese. I said I didn't ask you about your love life I asked what you wanted to eat."

"Q: What kind of snake is it good to have on a car? A: Windshield vipers."

"Being drunk is a very unpleasant experience... Just ask a glass of water."

"When an elevator stops at your floor, a nice thing to do is to hug the person next to you and say, ""This was fun. Let's keep in touch."""

"this is my son Mason. yes like the shitty cheap mass produced jar. i named him that because its a good name for my underwhelming baby boy"

"A very very short joke Bend over Genie, a wish is a wish!"

"When I pay for my groceries and the cashier hands me the receipt I like to smile and say ""this will all be poop soon""."

"My girlfriend is not allowed to go on vacation. If she wants to travel she better pick up a basketball and start walking around the house!"

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"I saw a beefle of buffaloes Really!? is a herd of buffaloes called a beefle? Nah, I was just joking..."