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Joke of the Day

"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."

"In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts."

"In the spirit of bipartisanship and cooperation, I think Trump should offer Hillary Clinton an important role in his administration... Like the ambassadorship to Libya"

"If I ever saw an amputee being hung, I'd start yelling out letters."

"What do you call a spider that's had a sex change? A trantula."

"Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it..... took too long to spell doubt"

"""You know the newest cars drive themselves. And they found that by turning an equal amount left and right, you end up going straight."" ""I swear, officer."""

"Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli."

"It's 364 days until christmas. And people already have their lights up!"

"I'm sick of this condescending parrot making fun of the way I talk."