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Joke of the Day

"Every day the cat climbs a six-foot glass-block wall and watches my wife shower. She thinks it's cute. I do it once and I'm creepy."

"They say it takes a whole village to raise a child That must be a really fat kid"

"I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved."

"Today I just turned 17! That makes me over 3.55 x 10^14 years old."

"How did the urologist ruin his Christmas? [OC] He looked inside Santa's sack."

"I'm always punctual, which is why I hope to be cremated and used in an hourglass."

"What do you call a fish that stands out? Out of plaice."

"What did the owner of the Indian restaurant say when he burned all of his bread? ""Don't worry, it's a naan issue."""

"How did I find out my sister was on her period? I tasted her blood on my father's dick."

"Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over"