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Joke of the Day

"What do big banks and Hillary Clinton have in common? They aren't too big to fail"

"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""

"[airport] ""you should have used a tag"" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS"

"Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician? because he didn't C#"

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist beach? It's not hard"

"I just hope people who say ""Jesus is my co-pilot"" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator."

"Bernie Sanders has no chance as long as Theres a Trump virus going around on this website?"

"What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now."

"How did the medical community come up with the term ""PMS""? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."

"Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand."