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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So, I got drunk."
Next Joke
"I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted."
"Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are"
"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."
"What's the best part about sex with a pregnant woman? Getting head at the same time."
"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ""Give me a beer and a mop."""
"The Gay Magician Hey, Did you hear about the gay magician?........... He pulled a rabbit out of his ass!"
"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."
"What did the plate say to the fork? Don't worry, the dinner's on me."
"What do you call a dehydrated frenchman? Pierre"