222136

Joke of the Day

"I started dating an astronaut. It happened out of nowhere. I did not planet."

"A refrigerator is the exact opposite of a drug addict. It starts off in a box and then moves to a house."

"I'm sorry you're just not NASA material ""Why?"" Well, you wrote 'red' then crossed it out & put 'human' under blood type on your application."

"Dr: it looks like you've contracted sumatta Me: what is that? Dr: what is what? Me: sumatta Dr [grits teeth]: say it together"

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico? He couldn't find three wise men or a virgin."

"Your dog may be smarter than an honor student... but when was the last time you saw a mother carrying a plastic bag in case her honor student shits in the neighbor's yard?"

"What do you call an incredibly well-dressed punk? The Speaker of the House"

"A hummingbird is a lot like a songbird, It just doesn't know the lyrics."

"Dayum girl, did you fall down from heaven? Cuzz ur face is fcked up."

"You guys ever listened to the music of Yellvis? *YOU AINT NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG!!!!*"