156588

Joke of the Day

"Do you know why banks have lollipops? So you'll have a sucker when they rob you. Eh, someone will like it."

"[phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there"

"What do you call a joke with no punch line?"

"What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has NO EL."

"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("

"GM developing car seats which detect how wet your ass is and post the data onto your facebook page, for fun?? fuck eveory thing about this ."

"Sex. Yes, it's a short joke."

"What are the best kinds of speedbumps? Orphan shaped ones."

"""Children can be very cruel,"" I reassure my 6 year-old. ""But sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying."""

"Just thinking. How many MILF'S are now GrandMILF's?"