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Joke of the Day
"Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they're dead."
Next Joke
"You staring at your phone= jerk. Me staring at my phone= cool guy with lots of shit happening in his life."
"I tried a pot brownie once and I hated it I couldn't keep the damn thing lit."
"Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE? Neighbour: Get out of my house! Me: You're not even guessing."
"My friend cooled himself to absolute zero... he's 0K now."
"My buddy told me this hilarious joke earlier about Albert Einstein getting a handjob... What a stroke of genius!"
"What do a ghost family and the Kardashians have in common? They both have Transparents."
"Sausage fest at my house tonight. Not what you think. Just eating many varieties of sausage. Nice people. Good music. NO GIRLS ALLOWED."
"If every time I didn't have something nice to say, I didn't say it at all, people would think I was a mute."
"So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. I said 70. I know you were expecting a joke, but I want to pass my exams."