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Joke of the Day

"Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

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"Half of all the people who go to an abortion clinic come out alive..."
"I asked my friend if he could tell me the chemical symbol for Neptunium He said it wasn't a problem but hasn't replied since"
"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."
"No one, NO ONE, hates their life more than the dude driving a minivan with the stick figure family decals on the back window."
"Dance Dance Revolution is an intense game but an even more intense to-do list"
"What do you call an old parallelogram? A parrallelo-gran"
"Thank god pets can't talk, they know so much"
"What do you call a peaceful Bruce Lee? Gent Lee (Gently)"
"What do you call two gay Irish partners? John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn"