43077

Joke of the Day

"My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy."

Next Joke
 
"I'm so tired I could eat a horse."
"Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying ""I'm stalking you"" was much funnier in my head."
"What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ? Whale of fortune !"
"I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back."
"A Nazi scientist walks into Burger King He asks for a Whopper, and the guy at the counter replies: ""Don't you mean a *Heisenburger*?"""
"When you walk into a barn You step on some shit. Dammit Bojack."
"Having sex in a elevator is... wrong on so many levels"
"Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage? Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!"
"How do people lose their kids at the mall? Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated."