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Joke of the Day

"my floor was 5 years old, so i contacted someone to replace the old wood... I'm still waiting for a reply"

"Why does Daredevil worry about getting fat? He never watches what he eats."

"I farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. From /r/PeterL"

"Why does carpet never make a sound? It's the world's quietest pervert."

"Damn boy! What's your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS Oh you're a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?"

"What is a terrorist favorite Pokemon move? Self-Destruct"

"What do you call a retarded kid with no arms and one leg. Names."

"In the English language, ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing. Unless you are at a funeral."

"What did the sick waiter say when his manager asked him if he could come into work? I can't wait."

"Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena? I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016."