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Joke of the Day

"I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae"

"My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing ""How Great Thou Art"""

"Why did the period and and semicolon break up? Because they had nothing in comma"

"What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth - Hurty! XD"

"David Hume's 'Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion' was published after his death, or in other words... it was published posthumeously."

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"A T-100 is sent back to 2016 to terminate Trump and Clinton. Who survives? Not the next redditor to post a fucking 'America' version of the disaster set up."

"What's the difference between apathy & empathy? Don't know. Don't care."

"What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow."

"My friend said he'll shave his hair for the first time in forever... I told him it was a....*bold* move."