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Joke of the Day
"I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed."
Next Joke
"A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, ""Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!"""
"Pretentious? Moi?"
"Dog: Whatcha doing? Me: Shaving my legs. Dog: Why? Me: So that I'm not covered in... Dog: Not covered in what, Erren? NOT COVERED IN WHAT?"
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."
"I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me. I thought, ""How dairy!""."
"I can finish The Times' crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper"
"Some people They're kind of like STDs , at first you don't like them, and then they start to grow on you."
"What is the difference between a computer and a jet airliner About 250 lives, depending on which one crashed."
"Me: Got a hot date this weekend? Coworker: Ummm...no. Me: I know. I was just reminding you. Coworker...."