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Joke of the Day

"How many Ferguson protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can't change anything."

"Prostitution problems are had in Canada because... We use $1 and $2 coins. You can't throw those at strippers. Some of us ignore this problem and use Canadian Tire money."

"have i ever told you your smile reminds me of a song? black and yellow"

"Roses are red, Violets are Blue. I have one mom, Kylie Jenner has two."

"Red grape juice is fine obviously but white wine for Eucharist??? just stay home you are clearly not saved"

"Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a lifetime."

"Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life."

"I tried to teach a class on how hard it is to make a Fibonacci Sequence. But it spiraled WAY out of control!"

"My professor just said that the particle of light is like a bullet... The black objects absorb more."

"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."