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Joke of the Day

"I tried to teach a class on how hard it is to make a Fibonacci Sequence. But it spiraled WAY out of control!"

"*lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down"

"Where does a pornstar go for timeout? The casting couch"

"I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it 'cuz it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race."

"What do many Asian guys have that's hairy, got two balls, and is smaller than average? A penis."

"What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen? Activates its shelf destruct sequence. I'll see myself out..."

"Weed doesn't make you stupid, you were stupid before you smoked the weed."

"[sermon] There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day! *T-1000 shifts nervously*"

"FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue."

"What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar? Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one."