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Joke of the Day

"8: hey dad can you make me a sandwich? me: poof! you're a sandwich 8: .... me: no"

"I dated a guy so arrogant he walked into a post while looking at his reflection in a store window. I left him. Unconscious on the street."

"When you rob an Ikea store they probably make you put all the money in the bag yourself."

"Whatever happened to silk underwear? A: Fell through the cracks."

"Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde? A: She screams her own name when she comes."

"So JLO has a new movie in theaters? Hasn't she had 'Enough'?"

"Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box."

"What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room? A full set of teeth"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"Dance like no one's watching & cook like someone else is cleaning up that shit."