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Joke of the Day
"What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months? A school application."
Next Joke
"How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch? The screen stays black when you check the time."
"Can't remember the last time I said Happy Birthday using my actual voice."
"If Trump was in any political party... He'd be in the Whig party"
"You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective."
"A magician is driving down a road... and turns into a driveway."
"I plan on getting ""sidewalk nap"" drunk tonight."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TENTACLES!"
"The worst is when someone ceases but they don't desist. That's some bullshit right there. Gotta do those simultaneously and whatnot."
"Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations"