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Joke of the Day

"I laid my tired head down on my pillow & saw the most terrifying thing I could possibly imagine: My phone. On my dresser. Across the room."

"Why won't bankers go to the opera? Because they quickly lose interest"

"Why did the doorman get a raise? He was always out standing."

"Who could it be? there's a big idiot between the ""I"" and the ""Y"" on the keyboard. Why don't you go and see who it is?"

"Why do canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game"

"What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window"

"Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web."

"What does expensive pasta cost? A pretty penne"

"Man has sex with a can of beans. He was porkin' beans."

"I have the email that Hillary sent Donald congratulating him on his victory [Deleted]"