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Joke of the Day

"Why is Windows 10 like a moody teenager? Because nobody gets it."

"I was walking along and I saw a guy fall into a nest of mosquitoes... ...it was malarious!"

"Why did the young ghost leave the party? Everyone started drinking boo's. ^^^Happy ^^^Halloween!"

"I found Alan Rickman in the grocery store yesterday... Jk"

"Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food."

"My garden shed door keeps opening and closing. Is it the wind? Yes. Am I going to tell my kids it's haunted so they stay out? Also yes."

"#MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'"

"Nothing annoys me more than when I'm talking to someone about music and for some reason they think their opinion is as valid as mine."

"Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job."

"I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them."