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Joke of the Day

"Friend: Dude that song is so old.... Me: Well so is your mum but you still listen to her."

"Saying ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" means basically the same thing... ...except at a funeral. Edit:Thank you Demitri Martian for the joke"

"The GOP should be like a good hand in Bridge No Trump"

"I was in a job interview. ""What is your biggest strength?"" ""I am always on time."" ""And your biggest weakness?"" ""I get annoyed when my dealer is late."""

"What did Donald Trump say to the Mexicans? You're hired! But don't tell anyone."

"""I was going to watch a German football team play today, but I couldn't leave the house because I don't know where I left the key."" ""Bayern?"" ""No, I checked the mantelpiece."""

"Him: my name is Robert but my friends call me Bob, you can call me whatever you like. Me: Cool, nice to meet you Nachos."

"Bowser is a job creator and the largest employer in the mushroom kingdom"

"Do you know what comes after the ""just the tip"" argument? Balls.."

"A family walks into a hotel... The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies. ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""