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Joke of the Day
"Excuse me, but I feel like your eyebrows owe me an apology."
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"Teenage Driver: But officer I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry but ignorance is no excuse."
"Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's? I'd say it's close, but no cigar."
"[Pickup] got a dank sub woofer for $100 today whoops wrong sub"
"What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees? All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite..."
"An infinite number of redditors walk into r/Jokes But they can't get past the infinite mathematicians and cows"
"How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife? Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you."
"What have the films 'Titanic' and 'The Sixth Sense' got in common? Icy dead people."
"I got 6 numbers at the bar last night... One more and it would have been a complete telephone number. (special thanks to Kevin Malone)"
"If a baby horse swears at it's mother, would this be classed as foal language?"