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Joke of the Day
"Pendanticness test Look in the comment section for your results."
Next Joke
"Don't give the homeless money. They'll just use it on sharpies and cardboard."
"I would love to go to the bar tonight but, people."
"A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid. 'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.'"
"How do you spot a modern spider ? He doesn't have a web he had a website !"
"What do you call someone who's both a Seahawks fan and a LOTR fan? A twelf"
"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"
"My N'Sync tattoo? I got it to remind me not to make impulsive decisions based on fleeting trends that I'd regret for the rest of my life."
"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."
"Level of drunkenness: fed the ATM pizza."