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Joke of the Day

"Found newspaper from day my son was born. Originally saved so he could see news of that day. Now saving so he can see what a newspaper was."

"I don't hate anyone. I just don't like people."

"The most sexist joke you've ever heard. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give a man a vagina and you feed her for a lifetime."

"Why did the American flag get so fat? Because these colors don't run."

"This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people."

"Have you heard the news about the courduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"Every DJ's picture looks like they just got done effing your mom & can't wait to tell you about it."

"*chases cat around the house with a lint roller"

"*gains winter weight for ""insulation"" *is now fat and cold"

"Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The second atom with a strong British accent asks, 'Are you sure?' The first one replies, ' yes I'm positive.'"