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Joke of the Day

"[planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 ganged up with 10 and killed 8 and 9"

"Some asshole just clogged my toilet"

"People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?"

"BUZZ ALDRIN:They say in space no one can hear you scream, but it's not true and the other astronauts get mad at you for the rest of the trip"

"Paris Hilton says that bees frighten her. I bet the rest of the alphabet does too."

"What do you call a dwarf psychic who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"Great minds think alike... That's why we have so many opinions in America"

"My Grandpa once said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Amy's baking Co. Has just designed a gaming system It's called the Xbox one"