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Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 ganged up with 10 and killed 8 and 9"

"If you sleep with your socks on, please unfollow. I do not support you or your lifestyle"

"I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. ""Sir, those are Band-Aids."" Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some."

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they can't even"

"What has five arms, three legs and a head? The finish line at the Boston Marathon"

"What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride, until your friends find out."

"Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog"

"I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math."

"If you think ""Terminator: Genisys"" is going to be bloody... ... just wait until you see ""Terminator: Leviticys."""

"Do I have a girlfriend!? Are you kidding me? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TOILET PAPER THOSE THINGS USE!?"