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Joke of the Day

"Door-to-door Christian guy: Have you heard the greatest story ever told? Me: Definitely. I love Star Wars."

"What do you call a funny snake? HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERICAL ^^^my ^^^son ^^^^told ^^^^^me ^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^one.."

"yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's."

"My house was haunted, so I got it exorcised by an expert. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford the payment and it got repossessed."

"One of the band members of Chumbawumba were in a bar fight... He got knocked down, but he got up again."

"Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!"

"What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? Both looking for a tight seal."

"[to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey W: but- PLS JUST DO IT *ends phonecall* BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good"

"Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end!!!"

"What do Grammar Nazis support? The Third Write"