42066

Joke of the Day

"People often ask why i dont shave myself, and i tend to give them a simple answer I have better things to do than to cut myself..... (sorry)"

"I need a ""your penis is so ugly..."" Joke yep, thats what i need"

"I'd never appear on Leno now because I have strict ethical standards, so next time you're watching Leno and you don't see me that's why."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"So I was watching Fox News the other day"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there."

"How do Ghosts get Drunk? Booze."

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark"

"What's lil Wayne's favorite pizza? Lil seizure"

"There's a bipartisan group petitioning for medical marijuana as an option for arthritis patients. In other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support."