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Joke of the Day

"I bought a book yesterday-a real one with paper, and you have to turn pages and everything! Living like a cave person. Life is hard."

"An Australian soldier arrives at the front line in WW1 where he meets a British officer. The officer asks ""have come here to die too?"" The soldier replies ""No sir, I came yesterday."""

"When People Tell Me to Get a Life I take theirs."

"There's a gang in my neighborhood that recruits members by threatening them with all sorts of horrible punishments and tortures if they don't join .. but enough about the Church .."

"How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs? Indeterminate"

"Ask a friend this: ""Hey, you ever blow Bubbles?"" ""Of course I did."" ""Well, I think he enjoyed it. He's back in town and asking for you."""

"Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova? Caesar said:""I came, I saw, I conquered."" Casanova said:""I saw, I conquered, I came."""

"WIFE: Don't tell the kids but I threw away those awful pictures they made & stuck on the fridge ME: [sprinting towards the bin] MY ART"

"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."

"TIL Billy Mays served in the US military It wasn't for long though it was only 1999."