42009

Joke of the Day

"Ill never try suicide again! Last time I almost killed myself"

"I was pooping in a bathroom with no windows when the there was a power outage. When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit."

"Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs."

"I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe."

"[vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please."

"How can you tell that pirates hid the communist manifesto Because an ""X"" Marx the spot"

"I just went to the bathroom without my phone. I had to read shampoo bottles like it was 1999."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER!"

"Have you heard about the guy who finally overcame his coprophilia? He got off scat-free"

"Did you see the joke written on recycled paper? It was tearable"