212633

Joke of the Day

"I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe."

"if I was ever in prison I'd quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover"

"I hurt my knee the other day... ...but I'm not sure if it was my low knee or my high knee."

"I want minions for Christmas."

"An Egyptian man was told the river was too polluted to swim in. He refused to accept the fact, and went swimming in it anyhow. I guess you can say he was in da Nile."

"I asked a Jewish girl for her number.. ..do she rolled up her sleeve."

"Are you British Explorer James Cook? Cuz I wanna turn yo land down under into a penal colony."

"Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional."

"What do you call the spirits of honey bees? Boo-bees"

"I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia. I said they all look the same to me."