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Joke of the Day

"*locks doors and rolls window down almost a quarter of the way* ""you fellas mind not skateboarding so close to my driveway"""

"What made the vampire a gentlemen? They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside."

"What does a successful rapping cow struggle with? Moo money moo problems"

"My cousin is having trouble with the mods on Reddit... ...he's my cousin twice [removed]"

"The McRib is back. Because you're getting new underwear for Christmas anyway."

"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture."

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"A woman says: I'm hot. Lets turn on the Air Conditioner"

"officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community."

"Ghost hunters use special cameras made specifically for taking soulfies."