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Joke of the Day

"officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community."

"Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster."

"A guy walks into a bar the punchline doesn't matter because the real joke is always in the comments."

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two - but how'd they get in there?"

"Sorry I yelled ""chug it"" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding."

"How did Donald Trump lose $916 million? Well he was handed everything in life. Have you seen his hands? Most of what he was gifted slipped right through."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and not talking."

"What do straight guys and lesbians have in common? They both like girls"

"What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup? Erdogone"

"On what should you mount a statue of your cat ? A caterpillar !"